'I will kill them ... with my American-ness!' by Kara
Wednesday, June 20, 2007 at 6:39 AM

Have had a few people ask me this, and I'm sure other people have been asked this ... and asked people this. Funny how I'm more than willing to give an answer right after a con.

The question is -- why do people hate Narutards so much?

(My new little spell-checker in Firefox has underlined the word Narutard ... I've added it because I'm convinced it'll be in the OED within the next two years.)

To get to that point, I need to answer another question I've been getting a lot, which is, 'Why do you get pissed off when a show you like gets popular?' A few reasons for that.

One, on a very personal level, I can't stand repetition. When I was little, I was much more likely to do something (albeit slowly) if I was told once -- the more I was bugged about it, the more resentful I got, and the less likely I was to do it. Hell, similar even now. With repetition comes, for me, a built-in rebellion. I don't think that's true of the majority of other people, though.

So, the other main reason. Imagine you're at a restaurant for your birthday. Really nice restaurant. You've invited all your friends along ... and unfortunately Spanky, the one you put up with because he follows you around, has invited himself along. Now Spanky's a cool guy in small doses, but when it comes to something like this, you could really do without him being there.

So you're all sipping on your frozen margaritas and Spanky's already on his second Corona by the time the mozzarella sticks and calamari come out. He's already started hitting on your waitress, and you just know that before the night is out he's going to be turned all the way up to eleven and dropping f-bombs left and right, and it's pretty likely he'll tell that story about how he tried to buy a hooker for four bucks in Italy. And with that is going to come the staring and whispering and general glares, and who's to blame? Not Spanky. No, that couple over there with the small children are staring at your whole table.

I love some really popular shows -- House, The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, couple others. Once Legion comes in, though, things change. I tend to appreciate shows for story and production values, as do many other viewers. But these days, the vocal majority is teens, and with things like LiveJournal to help them along (I've just added Haruhi, Suzumiya, and LiveJournal to the dictionary). And the vocal majority isn't going to sit there going, 'I considered this episode of Doctor Who to have better camera work than the rest of the season, and Steven Moffat handled the shift of main-character focus in a way that Russ Davies couldn't accomplish last season.' They're going to go, 'OH MAI GOD DID U SEE HOW THE DOCTOR LOOKED AT JACK IN TEH PREVIEW THEY SO WANT TO DO EACH OTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111two'

And the people over in other fandoms trying to enjoy a nice quiet dinner are gonna be staring at all the Doctor Who fans, and not just the underage squealers.

This goes with anything -- anime, sci-fi, mainstream, books, movies, popular Japanese snacks, you name it. Once something becomes truly popular, crazy fans (and I will say that it's not just kids and teens, to be fair) pop out of the woodwork and embarrass the rest of their table.

So what does that have to do with Naruto? Because I really just can't stand it -- and I've seen it, because I refuse to say I hate something without trying it. I watched several of the early episodes, starting from the first one, because my anime club was giving it a try. That didn't last long. Honestly, it's just derivative, poorly written, and doesn't even have terribly good animation. I don't despise it with every fibre of my being, but I do find it to be a terribly annoying show, with or without its fanbase.

Turn it around ... Narutards are the group that invites Spanky out on purpose.

I have yet to find a calm, sane Naruto fan. I'm sure there must be one out there. There's one of everything out there. I'm not sure whether it's because of ease of access to episodes and merchandise, or if it simply attracts a certain personality type, but the Narutard Legion is huge and noisy. Combine that with my previous gripe -- annoyance at over-repetition -- and a sea of metal-plated headbands suddenly becomes a bit of a buzzkill.

So seriously, guys. Keep your voices down or I'm gonna leave you with the cheque.

If you have been, get one.