Blacklight * By Mich Allen and Kara Dennison

I know a lot of people have been asking, and I know I've been putting off saying anything. I should probably make some sort of statement, at least. Everyone's pretty worried. And we all appreciate your concern. I guess that's why it's so hard to figure out what to say. You've all been really great to us, and we appreciate it. That's why this is so tough.

I guess the simple approach is best. She's not going to be okay.

Sorry, I'm done trying to sugar-coat it. We're all having a hard time, and I know there are people who care about her very much. And no one wants bad things to happen to people, but they do. We're all figuring out what to do now.

I don't think Kezja's ever going to really 'get it.' It might be best that way, though. I don't know what would happen if she really knew everything that happened. Something like that ... being aware that it happened at all ... I can't even imagine what it would do to her.

Maive -- she's the youngest, she's only seven -- can't get over it. I don't think she ever will. She does blame herself. She may not ever let that go, but I hope she'll eventually come to terms with it. I know you all will anyway, but please, please be extra-nice to her, okay? She needs that right now.

Me, I'm sorry. I should have been more careful. I should have known better. I don't blame myself, but I know there was more I could have done. That's why I'm doing everything I can now. Without Mom and Papa, I'm in charge. So I've gotta act like it.

I wish it could be different. No one wanted this. But it could be worse. It could be a lot worse. She could be suffering right now. She could be in a lot of pain ... but now she's not. And that sounds terrible, but that's what we've all gotta remember. She's not hurting. And, as silly as it may sound, we all know she's still with us ... at least in some way. I won't forget about her, and I won't let her stop being a part of my life. I'm sure you all feel the same way.

I hope everyone understands that we'd like some time alone ... I just wanted to let everyone know how we're holding up. I'll send out another message soon and let you all know what we'll be doing from here on.


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